Dealing with a Bad Day | You have 24 hours
In our family we have a golden rule for when you’re dealing with a bad day, which is “you have 24 hours to pout and feel sorry for yourself, then you have to give it to God”. We have a great amount of faith in God in our family, but no one is perfect. When you bottle things up (your feelings), later they overflow into your daily life. You may snap at someone, or have just a little more road rage that day, or maybe it looks completely different. Nonetheless, we tend to find ways to let out our frustrations, hurt, sadness, etc.
The rules? Let it Out and Let it Go
You Have 24 Hours
So you’re dealing with a bad day huh. Ok so here is how the process works. Are you ready? Because I’m about to get really real with you guys. So you didn’t make the team, you didn’t get the promotion you have worked so hard for, the stupid scale is broken because you have been going to the gym, eating like a rabbit for a month, and the number on the scale is still the same, etc., etc. Stop letting it out on yourself! Don’t punish yourself by believing you have failed! Don’t punish yourself by giving up! What to do?
Allow yourself to cry, to yell, to feel sorry for yourself, to pout, to bitch and complain, to believe that everyone else is the problem but it’s not you, to feel all the feelings for 24 hours. Put on a sad song and cry while you sing like Celine Dion on stage, watch P.S. I love you (the movie), and cry your eyes out, or blast the music and dance like no one is watching and when you close your eyes you are the hottest looking person in the club minus all the pressure because you’re in private. Call a friend, call your pastor, call your sponsor, call your therapist, call your mom because moms always take their babies sides. (laughing in my head because I’m a mom and I get it).
Under NO Circumstances
You’re still dealing with a bad day… Under no circumstances are you allowed to take it out on anyone else ( I know.., super dramatic). What you say in anger will never be forgotten. I used to cry my eyes out in my car before picking my son up from daycare or school. Why?, because he deserved a happy mom with a big smile ready to greet him. Other drivers, the rude person at the store, and the person you snapped at, etc., are not responsible for your feelings or a bad day. You don’t get to take things out on other people. Let’s say you are furious with someone over something they said or did. That doesn’t mean you get to yell and scream at that person. Odds are when you scream and yell, the only person you are making feel better is yourself.
The goal is to communicate, ok let’s repeat, the goal is to communicate because you should want the other person to understand what you are saying. If you cannot verbally communicate your feelings, well there’s always good old-fashioned pen and paper. My son, on occasion, will text before he gets home to let me know he’s had a long/bad/crazy day. Usually code for…, “don’t talk to me because I don’t want to say something I don’t mean and get grounded”. But why would he get grounded you ask?
Because I have to try and raise him to communicate his feelings, and know how to ask for space, so he doesn’t lash out at people when he becomes an adult. He has every right to give me the heads up that he has had a long day and needs space, but he may not take it out on me or anyone else. Because we have had this rule for many years, he will come out of his room and either start spilling his guts (venting his heart out), or he tells me “ok mom I’m over it, what’s for dinner?”.
Dealing With a Bad Day
Does it really take 24 hours?? Do I HAVE to take 24 hours??
Absolutely not, to both questions. Sometimes, all it takes is 20 minutes of venting. When we’re done deflating, we can give it to God. My motto is that every day is a new day and you can start new. The only thing you have control of is your ATTITUDE. The only thing you can do is make choices to try and change the situation, but your attitude will not make the situation budge an inch towards a solution.